Reflection on peer response and revision plan

The most helpful comments from my peer session were that my peers wrote on the side margins telling me on what ideas I need to develop on and on what reasons I have to expand. Also, it was helpful that they found my thesis on their own, it shows me that my thesis is clear and that its in the right place in the introduction. The least helpful information that my peers gave me was answering the questions on the peer response worksheet because they weren't specific on the things i did good on my essay, they were focusing more on the things I needed to work on.

I plan on changing my thesis, by changing I mean that I need to move my sentences around in my introduction. I need to change me thesis by adding information about why it is a problem and what are the consequences about group minds. I also have to have to add my opinion about what I think about group and why I think that. I have to add why I agree to her proposal and what is it that I don't agree. Specific tools that I will use to accomplish this plan that I have is use my notes that I took in class that says what I have to include, like the requirements. Also what is going to be very useful is the peer review notes and the feedback that they gave me on my essay. Also, I found very useful and I know that I am going to use the feedback you gave me on my essay.

Strongest and weakest paragraph

I think my introduction is my strongest paragraph because I have a thesis that shows Lessing's proposal. Also, I show if I agree or disagree with her proposal and I also explained why I agreed with her. It's a good introduction because I go in depth in what Group minds is, why group minds is a problem and why does it happen. I went in depth in those particular sections and I used quotes from Dorris Lessing's article as evidence and why I think those certain things.


My weakest paragraph is paragraph number 3 because I didn't go in to depth on the reason why I agree that individuals need to use their facts and information to prove their points and to not fall in the group mind category. I think that my point isn't clear enough because I just put the reason on what I think people should do. I didn't say what I thought about individuals not using and using the information they have. Also, I feel like I need to develop my ideas based on Lessing's proposal, and giving my opinion so the reader can understand my argument as well.

Thesis Draft

Doris Lessing is right that group minds do exist, but she seems more dubious ground when she claims that the minority sees the color white yet the majority sees the color black. Group minds is formed by a large number of individuals that think the same, but they contradict with one individual yet they manage to make the individual think like them too.

“Group Minds”

I think the benefits of following the opinions and norms of the majority group is that you will fit in with them. For example, if you are new to a school and you do not have friends you are going to start acting or doing similar things as the other people are doing at school to fit in with them. When you start doingsimilar things you start fitting in and then you gain friends because you guys are doing the same things. So the benefits are that you wont be the outcast. you will fit in with them, but that doesn't necessarily will mean your happy. Following your own heart and doing what you choose to do benefits you because that's your decision that you want and that will make you happy. But then again your going against the people that govern your life and the consequences of that is that perhaps they'll get mad at you because you didn't obey or you didn't agree with them and you went against them. So the benefit of you following your heart is that you'll be happy and you wont have regrets later in life because you did what you wanted and you went in the direction your heart signaled you to.